Pronouns and Inclusion
This world would be a whole lot better if we just made an effort to be less horrible to one another - Elliot Page
June is Pride month, an opportunity for us to celebrate our differences and recognize our similarities. Especially for the LGBTQIA+ community, it is a significant opportunity to demonstrate inclusion and support our brothers and sisters who may be wondering who their allies are and, at the end of the day, just want to be treated the same as everyone else.
Of particular importance in the LGBTQIA+ community are the use of pronouns, and for the past few years, you have likely seen increased use of pronouns across the business world, social media, etc. For those not familiar, let’s begin with the fact that the use of pronouns to define gender identity is not a new concept; in fact, it goes back to the 14th century. For hundreds of years, we have used these words to purposely identify gender, and in the mid-1800’s we even started using pronouns to be gender-neutral.
You may have heard of the word “thon.” In 1884, it was coined by Charles C Converse by blending the words that and one. A word that could apply equally to men or women and would serve equally well in cases where gender was unknown (source). The purpose of the pronoun allowed the user to refer to the person according to their gender and, in those cases where the gender was not known, in an inoffensive manner. Why did we need such a tool in our language? To make sure that we are not being offensive and help make others feel included. Knowing and using a person’s correct pronouns does precisely that; it fosters inclusion and can help make people feel respected and valued.
In the 2010s, the LGBTQ+ community leveraged social media to really begin a conversation about their inclusion in society. Realizing that the idea of transgender and non-binary people were often misunderstood, the intent was to initiate a broader global conversation. For those not in the LGBTQIA+ community, this can be confusing. Still, perhaps the mistake we are making is trying to understand it from our own perspective instead of considering that the use of the pronoun for others is not about you but rather about showing respect for others and the choices of others.
It is ironic, in the land of the free and home of the brave, that we put so much effort into trying to force our own beliefs on others instead of embracing that others have the freedom to form their own beliefs. Unfortunately, some take this opportunity to purposely harass those that they do not understand and go out of their way not to respect others. Such actions are not only inappropriate but can be harmful and are definitely not the actions of someone who is inclusive.
Ironically, often those who take this stance cite their religion for their perspective, but those who do so obviously do not understand the scriptures of their faith. There are multiple verses in nearly every religion that emphasize the importance of accepting everyone and treating others how you want to be treated.
As the United States is heavily Christian, I’ll call out some examples from the Christian bible. Galatians 3:28 states, “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Acts 10:28: “…God has shown me that I should not call anyone impure or unclean.” There are numerous accounts of Jesus socializing and accepting people that the religious establishment of the time disapproved of.
The point is that it is incumbent on all of us to accept the choices others make for themselves and not to belittle them for those choices. The use of pronouns is one such opportunity.
Using someone’s correct personal pronouns demonstrates respect, and it is an essential step in creating an inclusive environment. Using a person’s name can be a way to respect them while making up a nickname that the person disapproves of is easily understood as offensive or even harassing. The same is true of pronouns; it can be offensive or harassing to guess at someone’s pronouns and refer to them using those pronouns if that is not how that person wants to be known. Even worse, actively choosing to ignore the pronouns someone chooses could imply the oppressive notion that intersex, transgender, nonbinary, and gender-nonconforming people do not or should not exist.
You do not need to be a member of the LGBTQIA+ community to take this stance. It should not be a difficult position to take, to believe that everyone deserves the same, equal treatment. It should not be hard to take a stance that leaving out others is not positive and can be harmful to those left out.
Business today moves at a fast pace. It requires innovation and creativity to embrace the contemporary issues we face and resolve them in a way that benefits our organizations, clients, and stakeholders. Innovation and creativity are fostered by diversity, inclusion, and equity in the workplace. Success means looking at issues through multiple lenses and from different perspectives—the more varied our views, the more likely we will develop an answer quickly. We need a diverse set of people to consider our strategy and evaluate it for strengths and weaknesses. It is simple; we have more opportunities for problem-solving from a diverse workforce. The more diverse our workforce, the greater the ability to make smarter decisions as diverse employees pull from a broader range of sources and experiences.
Establishing such a workplace yields increased profits and productivity, and ambitious professionals are more attracted to such workplaces. They also tend to stay, as employees feel like they belong when they are treated like they belong.
This month, I challenge each of you to think about displaying your pronouns if permitted and if you are not permitted, initiate that conversation. This is an easy way to show your support for others and demonstrate your commitment to a diverse and inclusive workplace.
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Chris Laughman (he/him) is the ThirtyNine Blog author, a blog dedicated to reducing the impact of the built environment. When not blogging, Chris is helping the real estate industry reduce energy and water impact as the Vice President of Sustainability for Conservice, the Utility Experts. Whether Multifamily, Single Family, Student Housing, Commercial, or Military, we simplify utility billing and expense management by doing it for you. Our insight into your utility consumption provides an opportunity to identify risks. Leveraging innovation and experience, we ignite solutions with real impacts and track performance to ensure the trendline stays laser-focused on the goal. At Conservice, we have developed a true bill-to-boardroom solution to help truly make a difference. We have before us a tremendous opportunity. Standing shoulder to shoulder, we will get this done. Contact me at claughman@conservice.com for more information.
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